reading the fine print

How often do you read the fine print on something you sign? Always, sometimes, never? Well, ever since the first time I rented a car, I've had this thing about fine print. When there's a lot of it, there's all the more reason to read it and understand my liability, not just give in to the clerk behind the counter who is impatient to get back to the episode of Maury they were watching.

A couple months ago when I was at the oral surgeon (just a consult for a dental cyst, but thank you for being concerned), one of the stack of forms I filled out included a privacy statement. And normally, you'd think that it's something that protects the patient, right? One of the statements in it was worded "... with certain exceptions, the patient's complete medical records will be made available to the patient upon request." Hunh? Why on earth wouldn't I be able to see my own medical records?

You'd be surprised at the insult and indignity it caused among the office staff when I asked about it:
me - "Hi, I was reading this form, and it has this statement in it, and I was wondering what those exceptions would be".
clerk - "Well, I'm not a lawyer." [sneering]
me - "Yeah, but you handed me the form. Do you know what the form is, or what it's for?"
clerk - "Of course I know what it's for it says right at the top"
me - "Yes, I saw that. I'm asking about this part right here."
clerk - "look, everyone just signs that, and it's required before we provide any medical care, so why don't you just sign it."
me - [I wasn't initially angry about this, but by this point, I was pretty pissed off] "I don't really care what other people do or don't sign. I'd want to known what kind of exception would make my own medical records unavailable to me. If you don't know, find someone in this office who does." (important note: this is a large multi-surgeon office, with at least 5 nurses behind the counter, and 15 people in the waiting room. Not a mom-and-pop shop. At least someone that works there should know what's on the form.)

So after a while, the office manager and I go in to a room to chat about the privacy agreement. Though my curiosity was only barely sated concerning the medical record exception, what was more interesting was that she told me that, in the 6 years she had been there, this was only the second time anyone had asked about that or anything else on that form. Everyone else just signs it.

That's my own story of the month in the real world, but next time you install software on your computer, try actually reading the EULA. See if clicking the "I Agree" button means that you allow Microsoft to audit the contents of your computer, looking for things they don't think you should have. Looking for entertaining/scary examples of other EULAs? Try here and here.