god damn it
I was poking around in the Michigan Compiled Laws trying to see whether the situation described by Lou could happen here in the Mitten State. I didn't find any felonies for assaulting someone from the window of a moving vehicle, but did find that:
Blasphemy is apparently illegal. God fucking damn it.
Adultery is still illegal, and apparently a felony. The bad news: unmarried men are just as guilty as the married women they commit adultery with. The good news: a one year statute of limitations, and that it can only be prosecuted upon the complaint of the spouse of the adulterer.
One thing about that though... in the married man/unmarried woman situation, the unmarried woman hasn't committed adultery. All men (married and unmarried) could be guilty of felonious seduction, but apparently women can do whatever they want. So basically, an unmarried woman gets off scott-free. Where's the gender equality in that? Personally, I think that cougars shouldn't get a free pass if dirty old men don't.
1 comment:
I think that the bottle chucking would be a felony assault. My first quasi-real job out of law school (circa 1997-98) was in the Wayne County prosecutor's office. I remember that one of the head dudes (who was in his 50s, still lived in his mom's basement and had this sicky crush on Olivia Newton-John) charged a sister with FA for throwing a shoe at her brother's head (we were in the juvie section). If THAT can be charged, I would think that chucking a bottle at one of us would be too. The problem, as always, is proving who did it. The license plate isn't enough, as I'm sure you know.
I think the elements of FA are intent to cause apprehension (remember, assault is the apprehension; battery is the actual hitting or making contact) and then using a dangerous object. What is a dangerous object? My friend, some people ask what IS a dangerous object, and I ask what ISN'T a dangerous object! I'd still make a complaint if I could identify the bastard who did it. On the witness stand, I could use my, "But I'm a teacher of the blind!! Trust me!!" ditty. :)
That adultery/blasphemy stuff is weird. That's like Hebrew Bible kinda stuff (I guess Christian bible too!) This reminds me of something that irritates me--when female teachers rape a male student, society does the wink/nudge thing but when it's a dude hitting a girl, the world stops turning.
As a female teacher, all I can say is that when you are on the other side of that desk--you ugly. I don't care if you're my man Gael Garcia Bernal--you ugly. (I used to teach adult ed, btw).
I also think it's illegal to use profanity around ladies and children. So Andy, any time you email me and say "fuck", I could report that! Just kidding! Cuz then you'd have to prove I'm a "lady", and good luck doing that.
:)
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