just in time for the holidays

The seasons roll on, and the notions come 'round in a predictable cycle. A wonder it's taken this long to notice the pattern: the leaves fall, the goes cold, and not long before Thanskgiving... "The Lull". When a numb stillness falls around my head, nothing really seems interesting, let along exciting. Content in my sitting about, am I. But then like the proverbial fog lifting, right during Thanksgiving week, the stores of mental fat are released and everything in the world is new and fascinating again. I notice this mostly because ON Thanksgiving, it becomes most obvious - there's a million things I want to do, places to see, and nothing is open. My jonesing for art, beauty, billiards, academia, ... it returns all at once. But desire is greater than capacity, and can never be properly fulfilled. Days, weeks... time.. passes, and like the drunk swerving around the deer in the road, I find myself overcorrected and suddenly on the other side of the balance - disappointment about fulfilling desire - a sense of overcapacity with nowhere to spend it that energy. By then: schedules past, opportunity wasted, memories made, and the feedback loop damps the signal to it's setpoint - a stable point, but a quiet middling mediocre blah.