a big weekend

It was a big weekend, in ways large and small. Sure, the turning of the calendar, and the holiday residue and all that, but more than that. Nothing typical that you can point a finger at in a traditional sense like "whoa dude, that was a killer party man...", but it's like that overlarge bite of food or meal that kind of sticks at the top of your stomach and you know it's going to go down, and it's going to be healthy and nutritious eventually, but you can't force it. In it's own time it will do it's thing, but in the meantime, you know it will take a while to process.

Had some significant conversations and non-conversations with friend(s) that, after the proper application of context and history, seem newly formative. Understanding boundaries of what current events are shared safely and what is not safe to trust and to share. Don't misunderstand me, it's not that I'm feeling overly vulnerable or fragile, but more that it's important that it's two-way, and a conversation is a dialog (not the mono- version). When what you have to say seems to just hit a featureless surface and then thud, with echoes of non-understanding or non-acceptance or intolerance, what's really the point of it? It's like pulling teeth, and why take the time to explain yourself when a disapproving response has no meaningful details other than to be disapproving? "It is what it is. Fuck it... and move on. Spend your energy where it won't feel like a total waste of time trying to push a rope." He says to himself... I'm getting angrier with every sentence, so I'll just stop right.... there.