LRB Personals

There's actually a book of the best personals placed in the London Review of Books (current ads can be read here)

Enjoyable excerpts from this week:

My psychotherapist suggested I place this ad. Woman, 43. Not mental, despite whatever a fear of open spaces, the colour red, the sound of rain, plastic containers, beards, percussionists, birdsong and cornflakes may suggest Box no. 01/03

Anybody seen in a bus over the age of 30 has been a failure in life." M, 43, failure, seeks F anywhere on the Arriva 333 route between Oare and Maidstone, for evenings cut short and diesel-choked embraces (the last bus leaves the Chequers Centre at 1817 and it's a long walk). Box no. 24/10

When eventually calming down after a heated argument involving smashed plates, thrown cutlery, insults directed at your circus side-show of a family, and emotionally destructive sex, you should know now that I’m very unlikely to participate in that ‘no, really, I’m sorry, it was my fault’ charade. You accept all of the blame all of the time or you grow gills to breathe in the stale, bitter soup of my angry and eternal silence. Cuddly F, 36, brown hair, green eyes, degree in geology Box no. 01/05