Neither child, nor adult.
Among the things I'm unfamiliar with, the boundaries of childhood and adulthood can be counted among them, but not for the usual reasons. Is it that I am more like one, the other, both, or neither? Today I went on my first guardianship investigation trip (a volunteer program through the Washtenaw County court system to periodically check in on the health and welfare of children/elderly/disabled that are wards of the court). While I know that my conversation skills with children isn't well developed, it seems that I'm also unacquainted with the conversation skills of adult non-academic professionals that are not engineers/businesspeople - in this example it's lawyers, social workers, etc. I kinda felt a little lost and uncomfortable for a bit, and it was weird. Maybe I just approach "serious life issues" with either complete aplomb or heightened tension (this would be my all-or-nothing approach to so many things), and the idea of calm pseudo-non-chalance in the face of health-and-welfare issues, (while maintaining vigilance I might add) is sort of an interesting trick that I don't quite know yet.
It's a lovely segue some of the other childhood/adulthood identification pet peeves of mine. Chip on my shoulder and opportunity to rant? You bet:
Why is it that somehow because I haven't married, bred children, or bought real estate that I'm somehow considered a non-adult? It's nothing overt, it's just that good ole "when you've lived as long/had the same experiences/had to go through what I've had to, you'll understand." holier-than-thou shit that bugs me.
Responsibility as a parent... what, you mean getting your girlfriend knocked up at 22? (a case where a history of safe sex is retroactively held against me) Or do you mean marrying someone out of familial pressure, or chronological pressure, or inability to live a life of your own? (a case where strong sense of self is held against me) Or that your incessant financial pressure is because you're in debt up to your eyeballs because you don't have a clue about the idea of saving for the future or spending less than your income, or other forms of consumer self-restraint? (a case where my sane financial choices is held against me.)
Don't worry, this isn't some sort of persecution complex shining through. This is just me having a moment. Bear with me, it'll pass...
2 comments:
I've been married before, years ago, but I have been single for quite some time. I hate when people question me about being single. Finding the right person is not as easy as people pretend it is.
heh. Usually whenever the questions about being single ("So... how come you're single?" for example) really are just socially easy ways of asking "So... Are you defective in some way? Do women just not like you? Are you a psycho? Are you emotionally available? Are you gay? You do like women, don't you? What, exactly, is wrong with you?"
It just so happens that the answer is both simpler and more complex at the same time. A 5-word question with overtones of superiority and accusation doesn't get anybody anything from me.
So yeah, I hear what you're saying... if a curious someone really wants to know why someone is who they are, maybe the curious one should try getting to know something about them so that they understand who they are. Until then, interrogations don't have much of a point.
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